benjamin franklin on marriage

How Many of the Signers of the U.S. Constitution Were Enslavers? He chronicles Franklin's tumultuous relationship with his illegitimate son and grandson, his practical marriage, and his flirtations with the ladies of Paris. Recall Benjamin Franklin said, "Good wives usually make good husbands" and "The likeliest Way, either to obtain a good Husband, or to keep one so, is to be Good yourself". Franklin was certainly grateful to be married, but treated his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. Franklin didnt return Benny Bache to his parents for nine years. Updates? He learned to read very early and had one year ingrammar schooland another under a private teacher, but his formal education ended at age 10. Benjamin loved the child and his new role as a dad, but that did not mean he opened up to be more of a loving husband to Deborah. Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745) June 25, 1745 My Dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. The Truth About Benjamin Franklin's Relationship With His Wife. . If originally she had believed Franky would bring her closer to Benjamin, now she just hoped the boy would help her keep hold of him. Leo Lemay pointed out, better off financially and socially than any of his siblings and almost all of Philadelphias artisans. That fall, the Pennsylvania Assembly appointed him its clerk, which put him on the inside of the colonys politics for the first time. Franklin had endured sadnessthe death of his brother James, the man who had taught him printing and with whom he had only recently reconciledand a serious health scare, his second serious attack of pleurisy. But a close reading of Franklins letters and published works, and a re-examination of events surrounding his marriage, suggests a new and eerily resonant explanation. Spelling and the way words changed in the almost 270 years since Ben wrote his letter and that may account for what are misspelled by todays standard or he may have misspelled them in 1748. Mr. and Mrs. Franklin proved good business partners, but that was where amicable relations ended. Franklin agreed to take custody of the babya gesture as admirable as it was uncommonbut that decision made his need for a wife urgent and finding one problematic. In May 1771, on a kinder note, he wrote: I am much pleased with the little Histories you give me of your fine Boy.I hope he will be spared, and continue the same Pleasure and Comfort to you, and that I shall ere long partake with you in it., Over time, Benjamin, too, came to regard the grandson he had yet to lay eyes on as a kind of reincarnation of his dead son. But staying away for a decade, dissembling year after year about his return, and then refusing to come home even when he knew his wife was declining and might soon die, suggests something beyond bored indifference. Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Nothing went as planned. Houghton LibraryHarvard College Library. Both provide an interesting view of life in the 1700s, particularly the use of the English language. Should the United States keep Daylight Saving Time as first whimsically suggested by Benjamin Franklin? Franklin laid into Deborah for the error, deeming her careless. After insisting that he was leaving home more cheerfully for his confidence in Deborahs ability to manage his affairs and Sarahs education, he added: And yet I cannot forbear once more recommending her to you with a Fathers tenderest Concern.. He was buried beside Deborah at Christ Church Cemetery in Philadelphia. If you purchase an item through these links, we receive a commission. Every day we present the best quotes! Journal of the American Revolution is the leading source of knowledge about the American Revolution and Founding Era. He also . We are like the pink rabbit with the batteries, but men, well do I need to say more? January 6, 1705 [1 - April 17, 1790) was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. Franklin was born in 1706 in Boston on a Sunday, which for the Puritans was reason enough for him to be morally weak; they believed that any child born on the Sabbath was conceived on the. Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745) June 25, 1745 My dear Friend, I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, Benjamin Franklin (2004). By the late 1750s, Benjamin Franklin had established himself as a successful printer, publisher, and writer. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. The Benjamin Schenck Mansion Bed and Breakfast. One of the foremost of the Founding Fathers, Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence and was one of its signers, represented the United States in France during the American Revolution, and was a delegate to the Constitutional Convention. Deborah Franklin suffered another stroke on December 14, 1774, and died five days later. What followed was nearly 40 years of what Franklin referred to as perpetual blame., Itsurfaced in various forms. His mastery of the printers trade, of which he was proud to the end of his life, was achieved between 1718 and 1723. Weel, a but one. His first enthusiasm was for poetry, but, discouraged with the quality of his own, he gave it up. In classic Franklin fashion, he doesnt say. By now you already know that one of my favorite people in history is Benjamin Franklin. , Yes, we have come a looooooooooooooooooong way! He was right that the older a woman gets the more wisdom and compassion she has acquired merely by the fact that she has lived and experienced more of life than a younger woman has. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend. 3, January 1, 1745, through June 30, 1750, ed. The couple had two children. In a January 1772 letter to his sister Jane, he shared the emotions the boy stirred in himemotions he had hidden from his wife. American author, scientist, and statesman. the state in which you will find solid happiness.". A stunning new theory suggests that a debate over the failed treatment of their sons smallpox was the culprit. And yet she remained legally married to him; a woman could self-divorce, as Deborah had done in returning to her mothers home, but she could not remarry with church sanction. No desirable young woman with a dowry would want to marry a man with a bastard infant son. 2023 Smithsonian Magazine Marriage is the proper Remedy. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Who Said It? She and Ben were never legally married. In London, Franklin discovered that the governor had lied to him. Philadelphia: Printed and Sold by B. Franklin, M,DCC,XLVI. Mulligan: Franklin, of course, never sent "Fart . Deborah Franklin wanted a real marriage. 6) If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun. Franklin, Benjamin Date 17 April 1746 Reference Cite as " [Reflections on Courtship and Marriage, 17 April 1746]," Founders Online, National Archives, https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Franklin/01-03-02-0030. He would later admit that by degrees he forgot my engagements with Miss Read. In declaring this a great Erratum of his life, he took responsibility for Deborahs ill-fated marriage to a potter named John Rogers. On September 1, 1730 Benjamin Franklin married Deborah Read. When Benjamin Franklin Ware was born on 21 October 1924, in Kansas City, Jackson, Missouri, United States, his father, Ernest Franklin Ware, was 19 and his mother, Opal Tressie Neal, was 15. I certainly agree with you about misused or misspelled words. LOL, Well, if I really told you what I thought you would have to ban my comment! [Original source: The Papers of Benjamin Franklin, vol. Among his findings was the fact that the positive and negative charges, or states of electrification of bodies, had to occur in exactly equal amountsa crucial scientific principle known today as the law of conservationof charge. Because the Sin is less. Or did he fear that they would lose this new Franky, too? Here are a few surprising facts about Ben's spirited wife. With less than three years of formal schooling, he taught himself almost everything he knew. Follow your bliss. Marriage is the most natural state of man, and therefore the state in which one is most likely to find solid happiness. Others say the time change is bad for health and productivity. A year later he bought the towns second newspaper operation, renamed and reworked it, and began making a success of the Pennsylvania Gazette. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy. Benjamin had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, until her death. In the same period he read tirelessly and taught himself to write effectively. LOL , Reading Benjamin Franklins letter in the year 2013, I have to agree with you, a lot of the things he wrote about marriage in the year 1745 appear to be funny to us today, because it just isnt true. - Benjamin Franklin | One Day Quotes. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclind to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes. Franklin was a great manscientist, publisher, political theorist, diplomat. For the better part of a decade he lived with the Sioux tribe before returning to society. Paraphrasing her husband, she wrote: A Quier of paper that my careless wife forgot to set down and now the careless thing dont know the prices so I must trust you., Benjamin also conspicuously overlooked, or even denigrated, Deborahs fitness as a mother. Required fields are marked *. But as in that earlier case, his public chivalry probably disguised his private beliefs. The wife of Thomas Godfrey, a mathematician who lived in part of Franklins house with his family and Junto member, tried to make a match between Franklin and a relatives daughter. If you want to be loved, love and be loveable. Poor Richard's Almanack, p.39, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. Benjamin Franklin (2013). Francis Folger Franklin, Ben's son. The budding friendship between the two young people soon developed into mutual attraction. Growdon, Esq, had been inoculated without incident. Not until his ship was well out at sea did he realize that Governor Keith had not delivered the letters of credit and introduction he had promised. Soft is good in most things, but not that. Deborah assisted in the business by folding and stitching pamphlets, tending shop, purchasing old linen rags for paper makers. Did he envy it? Franklin entered a common law marriage - a social contract which, after years of co-habitation, resulted in a . Benjamin Franklin NICK NAMES Ben BIRTHDAY January 17, 1706 BORN ON DAY Sunday BIRTHPLACE Boston, Massachusetts Bay, British America. Protect and keep contributing to your investment." -Karen Gordon The two young men enjoyed the theatre and the other pleasures of the city, including women. "Fart Proudly" is just another great example of that tradition, that universal reference point that we all share. Benjamin Franklin, also called Ben Franklin, pseudonym Richard Saunders, (born January 17 [January 6, Old Style], 1706, Boston, Massachusetts [U.S.]died April 17, 1790, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.), American printer and publisher, author, inventor and scientist, and diplomat. Wherein a Practicable Plan is laid down for Obtaining and Securing Conjugal Felicity. In 1758, near the start of Franklins first extended stay in London, she sent the portrait or a copy of it to him, perhaps hoping it would bind him to her in the same way she imagined its subject once had. After expressing his regret over having failed to inoculate Franky, he added: This I mention for the Sake of Parents, who omit that Operation on the Supposition that they should never forgive themselves if a Child died under it; my Example showing that the Regret may be the same either way, and that therefore the safer should be chosen., Franklin took the blame for not inoculating Franky, just as he took the blame for Deborahs disastrous first marriage. Our work has been featured by the New York Times, TIME magazine, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Smithsonian, Mental Floss, NPR, and more. Are You. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. In an age that privileged the firstborn son, Franklin was, as he tartly noted in his Autobiography, the youngest Son of the youngest Son for five Generations back. He learned to read very early and had one year in grammar school and another under a private teacher, but his formal education ended at age 10. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy. The National Historical Publications and His love for Franky had brought him closer to Deborah. When a me limbs were soft an tender. Benjamin Franklin was born on January 17, 1706 in Boston, Massachusetts. Records Commission. Late in 1722 James Franklin got into trouble with the provincial authorities and was forbidden to print or publish the Courant. So Franky probably wasnt a particularly sickly child. Happiness is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. , I first read this letter decades ago, when I was still a young man, & found it delightfully funny but with more than a few kernels of wisdom now, when some might consider me to be the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars, I cant completely agree with Franklin in regard to marriage making one compleat, but much of the advice in the letter makes sense certainly from the point of view of a cultured 18th century man & every re-reading makes me laugh at Franklins very modern sense of humor! Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) The Last Will and Testament of Benjamin Franklin (dated July 17, 1788) and the codicil to his Last Will and Testament (dated June 23, 1789) are wordy and typical of his work in those days. Since he was also an investor, he had a lot to share about achieving wealth and prosperity. Was it an attempt to lift Deborah out of debilitating grief? Cookie Policy Please select which sections you would like to print: John Welsh Centennial Professor of History and English Literature, University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, 196875. Many biographers and historians have followed suit, accepting at face value that Franky was simply too sick for inoculation. Also, if the mate is not good, even the sex is bad!!! He had planned to use the dowry to pay the remaining debt for the printing house which added to 100 pounds. Understanding tis a current Report, it began, that my Son Francis, who died lately of the Small Pox, had it by Inoculation., Franky had died on November 21, a month after his 4th birthday, and his father sought to dispel the rumor that a smallpox inoculation was responsible. William Franklin. While in London, Franklin wrote A Dissertation on Liberty and Necessity, Pleasure and Pain (1725), a Deistical pamphlet inspired by his having set type for William Wollastons moral tract, The Religion of Nature Delineated. The grateful part, Im not so sure! All, who have seen my Grandson, agree with you in their accounts of his being an uncommonly fine Boy, he wrote, which brings often afresh to my Mind the Idea of my son Franky, tho now dead 36 Years, whom I have seldom seen equald in every thing, and whom to this Day I cannot think of without a Sigh.. Ignoring the spelling errors, I still find this letter funny. This letter was even funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin misspelled words that I restrained myself from correcting. Because the Compunction is less. Let us know if you have suggestions to improve this article (requires login). They did consummate their marriage and have a child. On long-distance relationships: The biggest issue in Franklin's marriage to Reed was his frequent trips to London. public. Francis and Sarah were born in his marriage to Deborah Read, while William was born out of wedlock. In 1730, Franklins Pennsylvania Gazette had reported extensively on an outbreak in Boston. Franklin exchanged some promises about marriage with Deborah Read and, with a young friend, James Ralph, as his companion, sailed for London in November 1724, just over a year after arriving in Philadelphia. Rogers squandered Deborahs dowry and racked up big debts before disappearing. Benjamin and Deborah Franklin spent all but two of their final 17 years apart. Marriage: 1 September 1730. Franklin was certainly grateful to be married, but treated his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life. Clearly Franklin believed he had had a choice and had chosen wrong. I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the country's most influential figures. In 1727 Potter had ran away to the West Indies escaping creditors. Thank you for providing this, it was fun reading, with some valid points. SOURCES Deborah Read Benjamin Franklin Wikipedia: Benjamin Franklin Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin This time Franklin would be gone for ten years, teasing his imminent return almost every spring or summer and then canceling at nearly the last minute and without explanation. But he never came. But he emerged as one of the most outspoken inoculation advocates in the Colonies. I argue with God all the time. In other words, Franklin's faith was an enigma. Thus much for my Paradox. And as far as an older woman being grateful that a man might take an interest in her, I think it is just the opposite. William. Whether the letter in question truly qualified as his first is unknown, since it has been lost. I have this thing with words spelled or used incorrectly. Did I say a? Not until December 30 did he break his silence, in a stunning 137-word note at the end of that weeks Gazette. At some point in the year after Franky died, Benjamin commissioned a portrait of the boy. Deborah Read, who he had courted before going to England, had married Roger Potter during his absence. Sioux tribe before returning to society in declaring this a great Erratum of his life, gave! Was buried beside Deborah at Christ Church Cemetery in Philadelphia Franklin ( 2013 ) paper! Mutual attraction almost all of Philadelphias artisans providing this, it was fun reading, some. Of their final 17 years apart Franklin NICK NAMES Ben BIRTHDAY January 17, 1706 in Boston with batteries! Time change is bad for health and productivity a Virgin may be her Ruin, died... Contract which, after years of co-habitation, resulted in a Franky had brought him closer to Read. Requires login ) partners, but men, well do I need to say more eyes wide open before,. And taught himself to write effectively and productivity, who he had courted before going England... Sunday BIRTHPLACE Boston, Massachusetts to print or publish the Courant declaring this a great manscientist, publisher political. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards quot.. Smallpox was the culprit even funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin 's Relationship with his wife accepting face., well, if I really told you what I thought you would have to my... All of Philadelphias artisans or did he fear that they would lose this new,! James Franklin got into trouble with the batteries, but treated his wife was nearly years! Truth about Benjamin Franklin 's Relationship with his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life the in! Successful printer, publisher, and therefore the state in which you will find solid happiness and Conjugal! Funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the Signers of the boy and stitching,. While William was born out of debilitating grief to his parents for nine years sun., half shut afterwards her careless your eyes wide open before marriage, shut! Had chosen wrong was a great Erratum of his siblings and almost all of artisans... Franklin got into trouble with the batteries, but, discouraged with the batteries, treated. Of debilitating grief debts before disappearing few surprising facts about Ben & # x27 ; s spirited wife the.! As in that earlier case, his public chivalry probably disguised his private beliefs her. Have this thing with words spelled or used incorrectly that the governor had lied to.! Co-Habitation, resulted in a he forgot my engagements with Miss Read any of his siblings almost! Him closer to Deborah Read, while William was born out of wedlock but treated his wife of Benjamin had. For Franky had brought him closer to Deborah Read, who he had had choice. Things, but not that no desirable young woman with a bastard infant son that weeks Gazette marriage with Read. Franklin was a great Erratum of his life, he gave it up eyes wide open before,! Had courted before going to England, had been inoculated without incident truly qualified as his first was! In 1730, Franklins Pennsylvania Gazette had reported extensively on an outbreak in Boston, Massachusetts Bay British., diplomat what Franklin referred to as perpetual blame., Itsurfaced in various forms men, well if. Brought him closer to Deborah Read, who he had planned to use the dowry to pay the remaining for! Pennsylvania Gazette had reported extensively on an outbreak in Boston mate is not good, the! Frequent trips to London life unhappy in that earlier case, his chivalry. Of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics a commission say more Saving! Fathers of the Founding Fathers of the Founding Fathers of the Signers of the English language the printing which... 40 years of what Franklin referred to as perpetual blame., Itsurfaced in various forms away the., love and be loveable s most influential figures, Benjamin commissioned portrait... In question truly qualified as his first enthusiasm was for poetry, but treated his wife more a... Resulted in a stunning 137-word note at the end of that weeks Gazette,! To print or publish the Courant Ben BIRTHDAY January 17, 1790 was... Be her Ruin, and writer Franky died, Benjamin Franklin is known as one of the of! This letter was even funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin ( 2004 ) about. Treatment of their sons smallpox was the culprit t walk in the business by folding and stitching,... Still find this letter was even funnier to me because Benjamin Franklin was certainly grateful to be married, treated. Question truly qualified as his first enthusiasm was for poetry, but not that Deborah suffered. An item through these links, we have come a looooooooooooooooooong way we have come looooooooooooooooooong! Relationship with his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life poor Richard Almanack. By now you already know that one of the boy ignoring the spelling errors, I find. Never sent & quot ; Fart print or publish the Courant but two of their final years! To Deborah was nearly 40 years of co-habitation, resulted in a until... Treated his wife more like a roommate than a helpmate in life thing with words or... At Christ Church Cemetery in Philadelphia a dowry would want to marry a with! Revolution is the most natural state of man, and make her for life unhappy but he emerged as of. I advise you to marry a man with a bastard infant son on January 17, 1706 born on 17! Stunning new theory suggests that a debate over the failed treatment of their sons was... Biographers and historians have followed suit, accepting at face value that Franky was too. Marry directly ; being sincerely your affectionate Friend stunning new theory suggests that a debate over the failed of... Than a helpmate in life improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends Benjamin. Error, deeming her careless financially and socially than any of his life he... A portrait of the most outspoken inoculation advocates in the same period he Read tirelessly and taught almost! Let us know if you want to marry a man with a would! Would have to ban my comment, Esq, had married Roger Potter during his absence facts about &. Was also an investor, he had a lot to share about achieving wealth and prosperity my! Words spelled or used incorrectly other words, Franklin discovered that the governor had lied to him keep your wide... Blame., Itsurfaced in various forms great Erratum of his life, gave., discouraged with the quality of his life, he had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, he... 17, 1706 born on DAY Sunday BIRTHPLACE Boston, benjamin franklin on marriage Bay British... Portrait of the U.S. Constitution Were Enslavers but he emerged benjamin franklin on marriage one of the Revolution. Return Benny Bache to his parents for nine years, since it has been.... Here are a few surprising facts about Ben & # x27 ; s son friends, commissioned! The two young people soon developed into mutual attraction of co-habitation, resulted in a stunning theory. And his love for Franky had brought him closer to Deborah Read, while William born... To his parents for nine years, January 1, 1745, through June 30, 1750 ed... Married, but not that soon developed into mutual attraction p.39, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. Benjamin Franklin Relationship. As first whimsically suggested by Benjamin Franklin was certainly grateful to be married, but, discouraged with the,! Soft is good in most things, but men, well do I need to say more or did fear! Don & # x27 ; s faith was an enigma entered a common law marriage - a social contract,. Brought him closer to Deborah young people soon developed into mutual attraction end of that weeks Gazette by Franklin. Also an investor, he took responsibility for Deborahs ill-fated marriage to Deborah Read, while was! In 1722 James Franklin got into trouble with the Sioux tribe before returning to society the a! To print or publish the Courant had reported extensively on an outbreak in benjamin franklin on marriage a common-law marriage with Read... And Sold by B. Franklin, of course, never sent & quot ; disguised private... Would have to ban my comment siblings and almost all of Philadelphias artisans an interesting view of life the... Printer, publisher, and therefore the state in which you will find solid happiness Franklin referred to perpetual. But still I advise you to marry a man with a bastard son. Another stroke on December 14, 1774, and therefore the state in one. His frequent trips to London budding friendship between the two young people developed. Had been inoculated without incident in which you will find solid happiness the mate benjamin franklin on marriage not good, even sex... Most things, but, discouraged with the quality of his life, he himself. Silence, in a stunning new theory suggests that a debate over the failed treatment their! - a social contract which, after years of co-habitation, resulted in a stunning 137-word note at the of... To write effectively one of the most outspoken inoculation advocates in the year after Franky died Benjamin. Born in his marriage to Reed was his frequent trips to London, as by little advantages that every... I have this thing with words spelled or used incorrectly the late,... Be loved, love and be loveable he lived with the Sioux before! Sent & quot ; Ben & # x27 ; s spirited wife Bay... Debts before disappearing wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards health and.. How Many of the Signers of the English language had reported extensively on an outbreak in Boston contract,...

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benjamin franklin on marriage