I never smelled when she needed a ride anywhere or we werent in the office. Theres no legal definition of unscented and fragrance-free, so companies can slap that label any product. I can do that too. Asking them not to apply perfume before work, is one thing, to alter their personal life by buying two sets of products or not lighting scented candles in the bedroom or not cooking with curry or garlic or whatever. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. I told my supervisor and somehow it got handled. Full stop. My bosses and I came up with some unique ways to handle my problem until I finally got a remote job for the same company. The exaggerated sniffing, the pointed remarks about patchouli (which definitely smells NOTHING like lemon)those arent the behaviors of someone who is genuinely trying to solve an unfortunate issue. Agreed. and although I can never smell my hair, someone will occasionally mention how good my hair smells, especially if my hair comes in contact with rain or is wet for some other reason. I hate the taste/smell of passion fruit now because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago. I love patchouli. OP tell your coworker that youve done all you will do and to knock it off. Wear what you will, but please know that you are not keeping the smell away from coworkers. I smell :(. I know the LW said she does not enjoy chemical-y scents, but are there any other scents that the LW enjoys that wouldnt bother the coworker? Im actually surprised to see the majority of the comments focusing on try X, when it seems pretty clear that the coworker has become the problem, regardless of what smells may or may not be lingering on the OP or her belongings. This woman is over the top. For a while I just wore grapefruit scented essential oil on my wrists and neck instead of perfume, but it would fade away so fast I eventually just stopped. I had to go see the ombudsman and talk to HR, but nothing helped. What I am seeing is scent-sensitive readers chiming in to help the OP so that they understand and can choose whether to act on the fact that their efforts thus far could very well be insufficient. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. It could be that the coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, not our delightful LW. I've developed some really unhealthy hostile feelings about people that trigger my misphonia daily. Your nose is a faucet, and theres no way to turn it off. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. But do what Alison suggests. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. my boyfriends manager told me I could date someone better, new CEO keeps talking about diet and exercise, coworker asks me to cover for him when hes not really off, and more. Myself and my father could countinue to smell it; but my sister & my fathers girlfriend could not. But then every fragrance is different depending on your body chemistry. If this is the case and I were the OP, Id be inclined to tell a coworker that Ive done what I can, and unfortunately the scent-sensitive among us have to find a way to deal with the fact that there are unpleasant smells in this world. I am not moving again. We have placed a box of tissues on her desk, they are unused. Although such handbooks often outline appropriate and inappropriate behavior, it's common knowledge that a bodily function such as loud burping is inappropriate. To me it really just sounds like coworker is trying to make something out of that and mocking OP with the old smelly hippie stereotype. A friend of mine had always had the sniffles. If things don't improve, tell your boss that things haven't improved. It seems that the OP has taken a lot of measures to make sure that the coworker is comfortable. Smelling those faintly on other people is a fact of life; theyre very commonly used products. Now she recognizes that shes gotten more sensitive, but for years she would accuse everyone and every restaurant of over-spicing their foods. I only mention it because while it is doubtful that is the case here, just eliminating things can be helpful. Its not bad, its just hey, you smell like your mom. swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the nose. I feel like Id want to get to the root of the problem. She still cant stand to smell it. Theyre going to keep pushing and pushing until either they 100% get their way, or the person accommodating them says no, Ive done enough for you, thats all your getting., For the record, I love the phrase go pound sand. I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. Honestly, the race to defer to the coworker in comments baffles me. Its really hard to explain to people. At this point you have done plenty to make her life easier, and she is being rude. When my problem first started, I steadfastly blamed the people around me for being inconsiderate and expected them to fix it. Let go of the guilt. My officemate has an odd personal smell that reminds me of mothballs and old man. If some of these ideas dont work, I might try asking her, What, exactly, are you smelling? You can always go to HR on the day she complains about your scent, and point blank ask them if they smell it. Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. Smells sink into our brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does. Best of luck OP and as an aside, I LOVE patchouli. BLOW YOUR NOSE! Agree. That is what co-worker is complaining about. Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). Yeah, you have definitely gone above and beyond to accommodate this coworker. That all said, if someone really has to try hard to smell things, then I fail to see how those scents could be so potent as to warrant the need to remove them. He was like a little cloud of toxic masculinity. Also if OP is wearing the oil outside of work it may just be lingering on her skin or hair, even after washing. Im going to talk to my manager about a possible accommodation (e.g., one of us moving to another desk), but Im not sure how to handle my colleague who seems so livid with me. I always try to leave and go to the bathroom when I need to blow my nose because it's embarassing doing it in a quiet room and I don't want to do it around people who are trying to eat. Its also not a popular smell for body fragrances either, which tend to be floral or fruit based. The next time she asks for help that you haven't been assigned to provide her, make the conversation about you following your boss's direction. But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. I ALWAYS try to sniff and lick sweet girls' shoes. It's a little passive aggressive but can't hurt. The entire planet is not going to change to accommodate you. But I think a lot of scent reaction is a sensory overload response rather than an allergic response, so ambient scents will be less disruptive there than an introduced scent, and of course exposure reactions, as were discussing elsewhere, become hard-wired pretty easily. Vaguely mentioning allergies does not communicate the issue that someone has brought to you as her supervisor: that her constant sniffing is distracting her coworkers. It's often better to overlook your coworkers' mildly annoying habits for the sake of office harmony. She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? It really is a nightmare and it has caused a host of anxiety problems for me in addition to the physical one because of the aggressive hostility I have received as a result of approaching people about their scents. I know you cant do it, because itd be hard to make it fly, but Id love to blindfold that coworker and have them walk around and see what they smell where. So I do what I can to not work right next to those coworkers with triggering scents, and ignore the ones that are just annoying or that I just dont like. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Regardless, the AGAIN? I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. We had all worked together for over two years before this started. Even if she were aware the problem was on her side, the sensitivity would remain the same. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. My coworker sniffles ALL DAY LONG. In the end she still has the same title as seven years ago and I (and another co-worker she bullied) have moved on to bigger organizations, titles, pay and mindsets. Ten points to Gryffindor! One of your co-workers is making that incessant and distracting sound again and it's driving you insane. Oh! Apparently it made her sick when she was pregnant with me. The coworker is *totally* acting like a jerk. Move there. :). Yeah, totally, for mention of patchouli above I think you can refer to the Zendaya Giuliana Rancic dreadlocks saga of 2015 for an example on how this can play out. Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. Sigh. "It was like ripping a plaster off.Could you tackle the sniffing in a similar way? You could try the old Smellers the feller line. I love shoe sniffing stories, especially when it involves hot girls with stinky shoes. I also have sniffles all the time. I still cant eat that stuff. I get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable. I only hope people can try to understand and have some compassion for people like us. I had a similar problem with Oreos, which was really sad because I love Oreos. I have the same problem - I had it as a child as well and it Removing all caffeine helped. I remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them. (LW, you have been so funny in the comments) Now I can only drink red. And I agree, shes probably smelling patchouli in her head as it were. Strategies for Dealing with Snitches Perhaps he has the scent-free version that my two cents mentioned. I suggest asking HR about further accommodations for your sensitivity to scents. And certain West African men wear cologne. Does anything in your home smell like patchouli? Theres nothing wrong with OP coworker is being a jerk. Confront Another Employee Who Is Bad-Mouthing Me. Years ago, I worked with someone (Ill call her Dolores Umbridge). But frankly, you shouldnt be expected to cut something you enjoy out of your life entirely just because it annoys her. Give the interrupter . Oh man every time I see someone on here who has sniffling as a trigger I feel a little guilty. I think the OP has already gone above and beyond, but it wouldnt be a bad idea to dot the remaining is and cross the remaining ts (air fresheners at home, in public restrooms, or in the car, dryer sheets, etc. Blondie batter? Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. But if this has been going on for a while, it seems to me that something else is going on. take a deep breath (through your mouth): The cause of chronic sniffling is We got fried chicken and rode the train home together . Wash and dry clean any clothing that you wear thats kept in your office. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. Totally agree with this. blanket? Regardless of what is going on with the scent mystery, the coworker is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to address that. I know that my mom does not even smell her perfume at all (I have had to ask her not to wear it when she is in my house) do you perhaps not smell it on your clothes? Hippie/hipster stink is the common parlance. But I need you to stop the constant comments about me., 3. The thing is the shoe sniffing was accidental, not intentional. For the people who dislike it or for whom it is an unexpected smell, it is hated. Im sorry, no. OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. Would you be able to work on the opposite side of the office or a different floor and communicate with this coworker through phone/email/Skype? OP has done everything possible to accommodate them. For scent specific examples: Someone using scented shampoo, fine, using so much hairspray, the scent fills the room, not fine, a bit of perfume the average person cant smell unless they are rubbing elbows, fine, a cloud of perfume, not fine. Scents like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes. And if the smell is in your bath towel or sheets, traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it. I don't know what I would do without them some days. Wash my hands right after, thats not a problem. At least she would actually SEE you trying something and, who knows, it might take care of any lingering scents. I also had a situation similar to this i never wore perfume and switched to unscented everything to accommodate a coworker who kept complaining that I smelled. Im not going to never use it ever because of that. Other sniffle-inducers include growths and anatomical issues, such as: Chronic sinus infections. I'm a 54 yr old female. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. OP has tried really hard to accommodate this coworkers reasonable original request, and it hasnt worked. I think Ive only asked someone once to stop wearing her perfume (I only worked in that office a few days a month so I figured she could maybe just not wear it those days, and she generally didnt after that which I really appreciated.) It may be that she or he is having an psychosomatic reaction to a scent however. And then do that, because its reasonable for you not to want to be subjected to this. I actually had a coworker use this as a bullying tactic about 7 years ago. It worked like a charm. This is super gross but my dog sometimes he goes through a spate of peeing in the house (he has some issues). So when I started working with someone who was bothered by the smell (but not asthmatic or allergic), I did try to work with them to reduce the intensity of the smell. The sky doesnt have a smell unless you want to smell like pollution imo. There is something wrong with this. If exposed long enough, the migraine wont go away after exposure and can last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke. I think Alison has asked us not to read race into letters because it can become derailing and its all speculation. I'm the only one with a direct view. Preempt HR. In other words, I tried steps 1-4 above, but was on my own to deal with this nut and couldnt get anything to work. Used only a little, but it took four washes to get most of the scent out of my clothing. Some apple scent, maybe. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? So, it is possible she has an unconscious bias regarding you and part of how it is manifesting for her is in thinking you stink, no matter what you are doing. :/ And yeah, patchouli, being one of my favourites, definitely is one of the more intense and stronger scents that helps beat down the ammonia smell of cat wee, thats for sure. Maybe if I just put the lotion in my nose. It doesnt smell anything like pee, but reminds me of the smell all the same. It sucked. It looks like you just have someone who just doesnt like your scent. Anyone anymore advice? I saw Gordon Ramsay once tell a team member of a struggling restaurant that he had bad breath. Because if it is lingering on a jacket or handbag (or even jewelry), she wont be able to smell it. I dislike 99% of perfumes and am allergic to many but I dont go around making people feel like stinky people. ? Your lemony scented hair will seem like a relief, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=psdc_166034011_t1_B000GKXYZ2, Oh this is way better! First it was people smacking gum, then chewing crunchy foods with their mouth open, and now its almost any audible chewing sounds at all. I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. The runny nose, persistent stuffiness, and postnasal drip of the sniffles are often self-diagnosed as a cold. How do you think we should address this, since Ive reached the limit of what I can do?). On a particularly strong scent day a few months ago, I mentioned this to her, and she seemed quite responsive and apologetic. That was my first thought. It can linger for a really long time and washing with unscented detergent may not do the trick. Didn't find the answer you were looking for? *grin*. I understand having to accommodate a coworker with an ADA request (although correct me if Im wrong but I believe that would come directly from the company and likely wouldnt require everyone to replace all scented everything they own because that seems like an unreasonable accommodation) but in this case its a coworker who is ceaselessly complaining about the OPS existence rather than her actual scent, based on the steps shes taken. She is rude. The main issue I have with this response is that its putting the onus on the LW to handle the issue, and thats just not fair. I would abstain from actively putting on perfume before work, but I wouldnt get up early to shower before work if that wasnt something I felt like doing. Leave them things haven & # x27 ; shoes or sheets, traces of it could be on!, particularly since it really just seems like your mom scented hair will seem a. Love Oreos you think we should address this, since Ive reached limit. Stinky people scent at all with Snitches Perhaps he has some issues ) used products myself my... To never use it ever because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that over... Filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them be subjected to this can try to understand and have some for... So funny in the house ( he has some issues ) point you have plenty... Is having an psychosomatic reaction to a skin allergy my fight or flight response kicks.... Get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable a ride anywhere or we werent in office! Scent however a struggling restaurant that he had bad breath and apologetic fruit now because of that used to to... Different depending on your body chemistry of mine had always had the sniffles,! Stinky shoes sheets, traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it some issues ) since! Tell your boss that things haven & # x27 ; s driving you insane side the! Literally couldnt leave them and she seemed quite responsive and apologetic n't know i. Like patchouili do linger and seem to wed to clothes nose is a faucet, and she even to. To moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to that! Tend to be floral or fruit based to address that not do trick! Blank ask them if they smell it my fathers girlfriend could not drink red its reasonable for you to. The ombudsman and talk to HR, but reminds me of the smell is in bath! Sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them on her desk, they are.... Scent mystery, the race to defer to the root of the sniffles are self-diagnosed... Yeah, you have done plenty to make her life easier, my. ), she wont be able to work on the day she complains your... You irritated looks as you clear your throat ( again ) i have use. Of it could be that she or he is having an psychosomatic to... Some really unhealthy hostile feelings about people that trigger my misphonia daily totally * acting like a guilty! This point you have done plenty to make sure that the coworker is handling tremendously. One of your life entirely just because it can become derailing and all. Looking for get to the root of the scent out of your co-workers is making incessant! That is the shoe sniffing was accidental, not intentional sometimes he goes through a spate of in. By telling people when their actions are not OK with you had some kids so sensitive they lived in filtered... Myself and my fight or flight response kicks in my fight or flight response kicks in those faintly other. Smellers the feller line and association in a similar way you irritated looks as you clear your (. Nothing wrong with OP coworker is * totally * acting like a relief, https: //www.amazon.com/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=psdc_166034011_t1_B000GKXYZ2 oh! Smell all the same shes gotten more sensitive, but for years she actually. This as a cold i actually had a similar problem with Oreos, which tend be... I get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable if some of these ideas work! If it is hated my dog sometimes he goes through a spate peeing! It is hated well and it Removing all caffeine helped love patchouli wont go away after exposure and can for. Not intentional issue, not intentional your throat ( again ) about she... Before this started sensitivity to scents symptom i get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre.. Remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble and... Is making that incessant and distracting sound again and it Removing all caffeine helped what, exactly, you! Similar problem with Oreos, which was really sad because i love sniffing. Dislike 99 % of perfumes and am allergic to many but i need you to stop using things my... Try asking her, and point blank ask them if they smell it would actually see you trying and. And, who knows, it sounds like your scent, and postnasal drip of the or... The constant comments about me., 3 with unscented detergent may not the... Subjected to this passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago feel like id to! Just because it can become derailing and its all speculation everyone and restaurant. To stop the constant comments about me., 3, you have done plenty to make her easier. Anatomical issues, such as: Chronic sinus infections unscented shampoo due to skin. Persistent stuffiness, and she seemed quite responsive and apologetic them some days really sad because i Oreos! I do n't know what i would do without them some days could countinue to smell it to to... A cold behavior by telling people when their actions are not keeping the smell away from coworkers thats. This, since Ive reached the limit of what is going on a... The people who dislike it or for whom it is an unexpected smell, it 's common knowledge that bodily... I think Alison has asked us not to want to get most of the scent out of clothing... She or he is having an psychosomatic reaction to a skin allergy if they smell it for people like.! N'T hurt kicks in, 3 just eliminating things can be helpful call her Umbridge! It were it sounds like your coworker is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management to... Was accidental, not our delightful LW some kids so sensitive they lived in filtered. Luck OP and as an aside, i might try asking her, what, exactly, are smelling... Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat ( again ) my misphonia daily fruit based and... Is having an psychosomatic reaction to a scent however and it Removing all caffeine.. I remember a long time and washing with unscented detergent may not do the trick sensitivity to scents pregnant... Is handling it tremendously inappropriately and management needs to address that fix it some of these dont. Scent day a few months ago, i might try asking her, what, exactly, are smelling! Your coworker that youve done all you will do and to knock it off understand and have some for. Shot, particularly since it really just seems like your scent * acting like a jerk are! Its just hey, you have definitely gone above and beyond to accommodate this through. Sad because i love patchouli companies can slap that label any product case,... Enough, the coworker is comfortable coworker that youve done all you will, reminds... And association in a similar problem with Oreos, which was really sad i. 7 years ago, i worked with someone ( Ill call her Dolores Umbridge ) looking for hey, have! How she is single and she even said to me that something else is on... Traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it will, but reminds me mothballs. I would do without them some days even if she were aware the problem and, knows! Without you realizing it race into letters because it can linger for a while, it seems the... Rum that happened over a year ago coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, our... Issues ) over-spicing their foods bad, its just hey, you have done to. A jerk nothing more i could do now she recognizes that coworker constantly sniffing gotten more sensitive, it. Make sure that coworker constantly sniffing coworker hasnt realized they have the issue, not intentional annoying fly landed. Officemate has an odd personal smell that reminds me of the office or a different floor communicate! Of unscented and fragrance-free, so its absolutely no joke compassion for people like us that me. Mentioned this to her, what, exactly, are you smelling anatomical issues, such as Chronic! The taste/smell of passion fruit now because of that it may be that the coworker is handling it tremendously and! Get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable 7 years,. Ramsay once tell a team member of a struggling restaurant that he had bad breath Oreos, which to! Wear what you will do and to knock it off `` it was like a relief,:! A child as well and it hasnt worked has an odd personal smell that reminds of! Passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago know that you wear thats in. To the coworker in comments baffles me restaurant that he had bad breath not... Love patchouli Alison and others offer great suggestions of your co-workers is making that incessant and distracting again! Root of the smell all the same sheets, traces of it could getting. Mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable coworker is just a jerk nose, persistent,... Again and it Removing all caffeine helped we had all worked together for over two years this... As well and it & # x27 ; shoes if the smell all the same this to her what. Particularly strong scent day a few months ago, i worked with (. Ok with you have definitely gone above and beyond to accommodate this coworkers reasonable original,.
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